Melo and Amare make quite a handsome pair

A real bromance has begun. Amare and Melo sitting in a SUV, cruising down the west side, BALLING. Melo and Amare are the most impressive royal couple to storm Manhattan since the Obama’s. Jeter’s receding jug head hair line can’t compete with these two galloping, gravity defying, sculpted black stallions. Sanchize can bang a teenager from Greenwich and bang Turtle’s ex all he wants but the lighter Latin looking version of Don Johnson’s partner in Miami Vice will have to make room in the VIP room at Marquee for these two by four, hardwood packing, blinged out stars that have already burned a bright hole through the garden by flashing a combined 160 million star lit smile which makes us forget that Winter is still here and that Peter Vecsey has plenty of grumbling left. New York City Sports Writers would never draw attention to a player’s looks because it would rub them raw knowing that besides natural leaping ability, that good looks was another god given gift they never received. But I’m a fringe blogger who blows commission checks on dress shirts with colorful stripes, so let’s examine the role fashion and style played in making the Knicks lock down Melo like he was the last prettiest girl at the ball to be had.

Everyone in New York says Isiah was the one who pushed Dolan to purge the talent pool in order to make room for the splashier, fancier, more decorated star like Magic Melo light who is more likely to pull of a Triple Linding than the flat footed Italian Stallion. The garden faithful will miss Gallo as much as a soggy, cooled Calzone once Melo starts swishing nets, landing winning shots and cools the heated hoopla about Miami remaining the team to beat once the grimacing three Celtics decide to retire.

While Isiah single handily brought the Knick Franchise to it’s knees, reducing into an ugly, diseased, runaway failure of the lowest order, he still dresses fly like an unfazed corporate pimp no matter how many times his stable of tricks got busted up. Nobody ever talks about it but maybe that’s why Dolan keeps Isiah so close. Dolan is no fashion plate and a real dumpy mess of a man with underfed dreams of rock and roll superstardom yet Isiah is the first rock star black GM/Blair Underwood look alike that won two rings with the Pistons who also sports five thousand dollar suits Larry Brown style yet also talks in a smooth low key patter that puts Dolan at ease. As a result, Dolan feels flat out cooler by having Isiah close to his ear, whispering sweet pleasantries like: You move better than Jim Belushi every time you take the stage at the House of Blues. You make that scruffy goatee look dignified and edgy in a barely washed, slept in my cloths, John Mcclane sort of way. Trade for Melo, castrate Donnie Walsh and let me in again for old times sake, Anucha Browne Sanders won’t get between us this time. If Judd Apatow wanted to dump Paul Rudd for a second and write a bromance about Isiah and Dolan, he could call it, “Dolan will always open the door for the Isiah, especially from the back.”

While the Knick’s gave away plenty they also have a great shot of getting the equally sexy Chris Paul who some have called an evolutionary Isiah which makes Dolan more erect than before. But Carmelo was the prettiest girl available and Dolan gave away whatever it took to land this piece of arm candy like Melo was Sharon Stone in Casino although instead of trusting Melo with his life he’s entrusting him with the future of his franchise.

Now Carmelo and Stat are the supreme fashion duo in New York, the Olsen Twins and Ponchos that cloth them can’t compete. If Carmelo and Stat sample a piece of the Olsen Twins, they’ll feel separated alright. Stat already posed as a naked black Adonis on the cover of ESPN Magazine. Plus, Anna Wintour at Vogue invited him to sit up front at Fashion Week and plans to put him on the cover of the magazine which will make us forget the stupid photo of Lebron on the cover grasping for Gisele like King Kong in a head band. It’s doesn’t get any more high fashion than Vogue and Carmelo looked like a real fashion plate on his wedding day, spotting that flashy, rich red Boutonniere in that super fly, charcoal grey tux that screamed I’m the new black elite that can’t be beat. Together, Stat and Melo are a pair of black beauties that will keep the ladies of New York occupied and up all night long.

This All-Star weekend taught me that these NBA stars are major celebrities and fashionistas in their own right and Carmelo received paparazzi treatment like no other. Can you imagine the press ever being obsessed with figuring out whether Drew Barrymore will go back to woman after dating Justin Long? Would Carmelo get all this attention if he looked more like Justin Long? I don’t think so. Is Carmelo deeper than just a fancy starlet that can tip toe around the three point line and flick up jump shots that arch beautifully like a Goose neck on ecstasy? Time will tell. But for now, the Knicks have a dashing pair of stars that will host the most rocking party at the Garden tonight. Star power, looks and the promise of the Knick’s landing one more future hottie that can put out has now made the Garden the hottest club in town.

Written By

Josh Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Nike Shox]

CO CO CO....A.M. THE RAIN IS FAILING. HERE WE ARE AT THE CROSSROADS ONCE AGIAN.... HA HA HA HA ......