Knicks Pocket Dictionary-Modern Edition
Ewinging-it (v)
Butterfingers caused from excessive flop sweat over facing superior talent that consistently overpowers you, diminishes your legacy and uproots any sense of security on your home floor.
Gundy (v and n)
Studying game film all night, know it all intuitiveness, lofty, New York superiority, refreshingly honest, unfiltered, criticism, an articulate, informed David Stern basher and clinging on to a tree trunk or NBA center for dear life.
Houston’s (n)
An upper, middle tier steakhouse chain but not in the same league as Morton’s or Ruth’s Chris and an injury plagued, salary cap hogging, lame excuse for a franchise player.
Leeing (v)
Wanting to stay but being forced to leave your team and make way for more freakishly athletic players that don’t have the weak white boy stigma attached to them.
Linergy(n)
Elevated, unified state of basketball team play that produces maximum, pun productivity, courtside celebrity awkwardness and nauseating levels of bandwagon fever.
LJ (N)
Damaged goods, sudden loss of all explosiveness and accelerated physical deterioration that plagues ex-All stars turned Knicks like Steve Franics, Kiki Vandeweghe, Rolando Blackman, Glen Rice and Amare Stoudemire.
Marvonize (v)
Smooth, ratatat, play by play banter, that oozes charm, has plenty of bite and leaves an indelible mark on NBA broadcasting, wearing woman’s panties while not breaking character to answer the door for room service.
Mason-Cut (n and v)
A hair style that promotes an NBA team logo in a stylish, subtle, creative way and flashy, impressive coast to coast dribbling skills for a snarling, out of nowhere, undisputed, NBA tough guy.
Melonate (v)
To contemplate lost fortune, lose all faith in an elite scorer and to become bitter over a failing savior.
Nate-gator (v)
When forced shots and out of control play outweighs any previous, offensive feats.
Oakley’s (n)
A carwash that can charge whatever it wants because nobody dares to call an offensive charge on its owner, Charles, strong as Oak, Oakley.
Starbury (v)
To close the deal in the back of a truck, fulfill promise in China, break free from the curse of Isaiah Thomas.
Stark-Wall (n)
The most painful reminder of talent limitations, a harsh grounding in reality, where mental toughness dissipates and the point where you exceed your capacity for zone type play during an NBA championship.
Spree (v)
To flee from a menacing, impending choke hold.
Thomultuous (n)
An undeserved, drawn out period of stinking up the joint and taking everyone else with you down the toilet including offspring that get accused of being the one who overdosed on Lunesta, allegedly.
X-Man (n)
A super human bad ass, known for a penetrating, eye popping stare that freezes NBA players into lifeless stone figures like a bald Medusa.
Written By
Josh Kornbluth
